Say No to Placenta Pics

Two Best Friends Make It through a Pregnancy, with All Its Gut-Busting Hilarity and Gross Bits

Maternity isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and natural glows. It’s also elastic waistbands, hot flashes, and throbbing breasts! When Jillian Parsons’s best friend forever, Allison Baerken, finds herself knocked up, both women are thrown into a nine-month roller coaster ride of emotions—even though only one of them is pregnant.

Say No to Placenta Pics is the ultimate BFF’s uncensored, tell-all guide to the down and dirty of pregnancy for all badass moms-to-be (and their nonpregnant friends watching from the side lines) who desperately need a joke over the next nine months. Together, Allison and Jillian ride the learning curves from first trimester to after birth, rejecting standard pregnancy fluff in self-help books , exploring the issues about mother-to-be-hood no one else seems to have the guts to:

The anti-sex appeal of maternity negligées

Surviving the high school experience of online mommy groups

Resisting the urge to overshare on Facebook

Executing the right angles on a maternity photo shoot

Listening to yet another birth story from a stranger

Witty, tongue-in-cheek, and fearlessly relatable, Say No to Placenta Pics is the realest girl talk between two women who deliver a satirical breakdown of modern-day maternity and what it means to be, and not to be, a Mom

Jillian M. Parsons completed her BSc in Biology and Advanced Diploma in Marine Geomatics before turning her focus to the manuscript nobody knew she was writing. She lives in Nova Scotia, Canada.

Allison Baerken has a degree in journalism from Carleton University. She is a stay-at-home mom of two daughters. She lives in the Netherlands.

“From baby names to avoid (so your little one won't get picked on) to mommy blog drama, Say No to Placenta Pics is a hilariously biting how-to, with some good (and honest) advice delivered in a fun and wickedly satirical way. You'll laugh so hard you may wet your pants . . . something you might as well get used to after labor, anyway.”
—Caren Lissner, author of Carrie Pilby

“Say No to Placenta Pics will make you laugh so hard you'll think you're having contractions.”
—Leanne Shirtliffe, author of Mommyfesto and Don’t Lick the Minivan

"Witty and delightfully sarcastic. . . . a charming and often laugh-out-loud read that can teach both the expectant and their non-pregnant friends how to have a sense of humor without either alienating the other in the process."
—ParentMap

"A refreshing read on the reality of pregnancy and the aftermath, which is articulated beautifully with a dash of uncensored humor. You can't help but laugh out loud as there are so many relatable points in the book. It clearly brings up topics that most of us moms want to say but feel the need to sugar coat; the bad and ugly. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has a sense of humor and wants the honest truth on embarking on the journey of motherhood and for the childless friends around them."
—Melanie Braga, mom blogger of Momma Braga and assignments editor at The Baby Spot