The Secret Lives of Introverts

An introvert guide and manifesto for all the quiet ones—and the people who love them—on dating, relationships, work, careers, and more.

On behalf of those who have long been misunderstood, rejected, or ignored, fellow introvert Jenn Granneman writes a compassionate vindication—exploring, discovering, and celebrating the secret inner world of introverts that, only until recently, has begun to peek out and emerge into the larger social narrative. Drawing from scientific research, in-depth interviews with experts and other introverts, and her personal story, Granneman reveals the clockwork behind the introvert’s mind—and why so many people get it wrong initially. Chapters include:

• The Science of Introversion
• Introverts Aren’t Unsociable—We Socialize Differently
• Let’s Be Awkward Together—Introverts in Relationships
• Do I really Have to Do This Again Tomorrow? Introverts and Career
• Inside the Introvert’s Inner World
• And much more!

Whether you are a bona fide introvert, an extrovert anxious to learn how we tick, or a curious ambivert, these revelations will answer the questions you’ve always had:

• What’s going on when introverts go quiet?
• What do introvert lovers need to flourish in a relationship?
• How can introverts find their own brand of fulfillment in the workplace?
• Do introverts really have a lot to say—and how do we draw it out?
• How can introverts mine their rich inner worlds of creativity and insight?
• Why might introverts party on a Friday night but stay home alone all Saturday?
• How can introverts speak out to defend their needs?

With other myths debunked and truths revealed, The Secret Lives of Introverts is an empowering manifesto that guides you toward owning your introversion by working with your nature, rather than against it, in a world where you deserve to be heard.

Is there a hidden part of you that no one else sees? Do you have a vivid inner world of thoughts and emotions that your peers and loved ones can’t seem to access? Have you ever been told you’re too “quiet,” “shy,” “boring,” or “awkward”? Are your habits and comfort zones questioned by a society that doesn’t seem to get the real you? If so, you might be an introvert.

Jenn Granneman is on a mission: to let introverts everywhere know it’s okay to be who they are. She has advocated for introverts since 2013, when she created IntrovertDear.com, the popular online community and publication for introverts. For most of her life, she felt weird, different, and out of place because of her quiet ways; now, she writes about introversion because she doesn’t want other introverts to feel the way she did. Her writings on introversion have appeared in The Huffington Post, Psychology Today, and Susan Cain’s Quiet Revolution, among others. Jenn lives in Minnesota, and no, she doesn't want to go out this weekend.

Adrianne Lee, illustrator, is a creative techie who enjoys telling stories through her whimsical and witty cartoons. Her work combines Manga-style drawing with smart-but-subtle humor. When she is not indulging her need to tell stories with a humorous twist, Adrianne can be found drinking too much coffee and sorting through her options for her next “big idea”.

“Jenn Granneman is among the most sensitive and thoughtful introvert authors today . . . The Secret Lives of Introverts brings to life the experiences every introvert shares and helps us embrace our quiet nature in a very loud world.”
—Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking and creator of Quiet Revolution

“Introverts love secrets, and here, Jenn Granneman opens us to a rich world of them—secrets about what introverts think, desire, and feel; how our brains operate; why we get hangovers without drinking; how to navigate love and work; and what liberates us. An intimate line to the wisdom of introverts—without the awkward introduction and small talk.”
—Laurie Helgoe, PhD, author of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength

"Reading Jenn Granneman’s The Secret Lives of Introverts is like sitting on a stoop with a friend who understands the stigmas you face as an introvert. She offers you support and gentle guidance to navigate this noisy world. In this highly relatable book, Granneman covers topics like: how to manage the overstimulation of socializing, why solitude is crucial to an introvert’s well-being, and how introverts can succeed in their jobs and relationships. . . . Granneman combines compelling anecdotes and the latest research for a fact-filled and enjoyable read, succeeding at her mission to let introverts everywhere know that it’s okay to be who they are."
—Nancy Ancowitz, presentation and career coach and author of Self-Promotion for Introverts®

"Introverts are sometimes dismissed as boring or socially awkward, but in The Secret Lives of Introverts, Jenn Granneman reassures them they are normal, just different."
—Publishers Weekly

"The Secret Lives of Introverts provides introverts and those close to them with validating insight regarding their nature. It clears many of the common misconceptions surrounding introversion. It's a wonderful in-depth guide that lets introverts know we are not alone in our way of being, while informing those less introverted of our strengths, gifts and ability to be happy as we are."
—Brenda Knowles, creator of space2live and author of The Quiet Rise of Introverts: 8 Practices for Living and Loving in a Noisy World

“This one goes out to all of us who have a still surface but depths that teem with energy and life. Allow [Jenn Granneman] to show you the magic of your inner worlds and how to quietly bless others with what stirs down deep.”
—Adam S. McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church and The Listening Life

“The Secret Lives of Introverts is the new introvert's bible containing everything you need to know to understand, embrace, and celebrate your introversion. Granneman strikes a blissful balance between intriguing research on the science of introversion and heartfelt personal stories and insights that will have you shouting ‘amen’ in agreement (in your head, of course). True to her introverted nature, Granneman takes a thoughtful and thorough approach to explaining the many intricacies of being an introvert in an extrovert-biased world.”
—Michaela Chung, author of The Irresistible Introvert: Harness The Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World

"Jenn Granneman conveys everything that is beautiful and unique about what it means to be an introvert. She guides us through some difficult moments in life that are all too familiar to anyone who has struggled coming to terms with their quiet personality."
—Debbie Tung, author of Quiet Girl in a Noisy World and creator of Where's My Bubble

“The Secret Lives of Introverts is a book for everyone, introverts and extroverts alike. From the first embrace of chapter one, introverts who have endured the pain of feeling out of place, inadequate, or outright weird will feel remarkably understood. . . . Jenn’s warmth and exceptional ability to connect with her readers makes The Secret Lives of Introverts an enjoyable, validating, and encouraging must read. I love this book!”
—Aaron Caycedo-Kimura, author of Text, Don't Call: An Illustrated Guide to the Introverted Life

"One of the best books I’ve ever read on introvert empowerment. Granneman’s fearless honesty about what it means to be an introvert in today’s loud, fast, and busy world filled with overcrowded schedules and spaces is desperately needed by all of us who have ever felt 'too sensitive.' She’s given me my new personal mantra: 'In your alone time, you’re free.'"
—Lauren Sapala, author of The INFJ Writer

"Reading this book was like finding a decoder ring for introverts. Jenn Granneman's candid, eloquent description of the introvert experience had me nodding along and underlining parts. It's wonderful to know that we are not alone, even in our need for solitude and quiet.”
—Nanea Hoffman, founder of Sweatpants & Coffee

“The Secret Lives of Introverts is for every introvert who has felt different. Filled with practical advice just for introverts on everything from romance to careers . . . its pages are filled with “mhm” moments and “aha” insights.”
—Thea Orozco, visibility advisor at Introvertology