The Art of Flourishing

Discover how to cultivate the garden of relationships while nourishing your true self.

In this crazy, chaotic world, we desire lasting intimacy: a close and deep-rooted relationship with someone who cherishes us—or, indeed, with ourselves. But too often being in an intimate relationship means we have to compromise, or lose, vital aspects of our personalities. How can we avoid sacrificing our own self-care to get the love we want?

In this pioneering, surprising, and deeply revealing exploration of the self and how it manifests itself in relationships, Dr. Jeffrey Rubin brings the art of flourishing to life. His idea is startlingly simple: self-care is the foundation of intimacy, and intimacy is the culmination of self-care. Synthesizing the best practices from the traditions of Eastern meditation and Western psychotherapy, Rubin creates a new and accessible path to living authentically as a singular self and as part of a couple. Drawing from case studies and personal experiences, Rubin demonstrates how to discover our purpose, nurture empathy and mutual respect, and uncover barriers to intimacy—the hidden emotional weeds that kill passion.

The Art of Flourishing helps us cultivate a garden of love where we can grow as individuals and nourish our connections with others. As we flourish, we widen our horizon of possibility, deepen our humanity, and find fulfillment.

“What a wonderful book! Jeffrey Rubin seamlessly integrates east and west, heart and mind, science and metaphor, universal principles and personal advice.”
—Tal Ben-Shahar, author of Being Happy

“Jeffrey Rubin has taken the best from the teachings of traditional psychotherapy and Buddhism and, combining these with good old fashioned common sense, has written a book that could well be one of the most important books of our time.”
—Irene Conlan, author of The Self-Improvement Blog and radio host of The Self-Improvement Show

“The Art of Flourishing is more than a practical manual for flourishing in these turbulent times. It offers step-by-step procedures for broadening the scope of one’s own well-being while deepening intimate relationships. But more, it displays Dr. Rubin’s profound wisdom of the human psyche. His many years of uniquely combining the best of Eastern and Western approaches in his own life and as a psychotherapist make this book a treasure.”
—Joel Kramer, coauthor of The Guru Papers and The Passionate Mind Revisited

“Jeffrey Rubin’s The Art of Flourishing is at once a philosophical meditation on happiness and a practical how-to book that might help us find it. It is a lively, clearly written, and compelling argument for how we can better understand ourselves and our relationships, not least by exchanging the fantasy of control for the possibility of compassion.”
—David Scott Kastan, George M. Bodman Professor of English, Yale University

“Jeffrey Rubin has written an immensely readable, engaging work that points the way toward a life that actualizes our deepest and most essential selves while simultaneously linking us to others in bonds of love and personal commitment. Drawing on the wisdom of the Buddhist tradition on the one side and integrating the insights of psychoanalysis on the other, Rubin explores hitherto unseen possibilities of confluence and synthesis between East and West. The Art of Flourishing emphasizes the value of bringing together a profound meditative attitude toward our lives with a radical openness to self-understanding. This book is an important contribution to the contemporary search for meaningful ways of life in our changing and challenging times.”
—George Atwood, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology, Rutgers University

“Meaty . . . A great read with empowering information that can help you achieve exactly what the title promises. I found myself nodding along with the many excellent points brought up by the author in regards to the challenges we face living in our modern society.”
—The Everything Yoga Blog

“A work of art in itself; and I’ll be referring to it often as I continue to pursue balance, happiness and fulfillment in my life. It’s basically a handbook for it! . . . [Rubin] provides brilliant and easy methods for readers to gain more spirituality and wholeness in a material world . . . I whole-heartedly urge you to pick up The Art of Flourishing if you are at all interested in creating a rich and fulfilling life you love and wish to maintain it.”
—LiveLighter.org

"Rubin offers a generous buffet of tasty phrases, metaphors, and take-home lessons for anyone who is eager to reduce his or her psychosocial hunger, experience some comfort, and perhaps even flourish."
—PsycCRITIQUES